Let's Get Personal - Loss

No matter how big or small a loss may be, it still has the ability to cut to the bone.

October 28, 2016 was the day my life was thrown upside down.  It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and everything on the surface was perfect. No one can predict when the rain clouds will form and all that you thought right in the world goes horribly wrong.

My family and I were on our way out of town for an annual event we attend.  We had been so productive that morning and things were looking up.  Weather was great and we were happy.  Nothing was going to get in our way of having a fun filled weekend with some of our closest friends. Little did we know with one phone call all of that changed.

About halfway to our destination we pulled over to a rest area to stretch out our legs and get some much needed snacks and drinks.  We all split up to use the facilities and reconvened to discuss who wanted what from which place. We all agreed to get Tim Horton's (how Canadian of us).  Standing in line chatting with my mom waiting to place our order, her cell phone starts ringing in her pocket.  We both assumed it was someone we would be seeing during the weekend finding out how far we were from the place we would be staying.

In what now feels like slow motion my mother reached into her pocket and pulled her cell phone out. She glanced at the screen and passed the phone to me mentioning to me who it was that was calling. I remember hearing the ringing and knowing somewhere in the back of my mind something was wrong.  I passed the phone back to her telling my mom I didn't want to answer it.  The person calling didn't want to speak to me anyway.

The voice that came over the phone when the call was answered couldn't have possibly been the level headed woman I was use to.  She was making no sense and kept asking where we were.  My mother finally stepped out of line and concentrated on what was being said.  After what seemed like forever my mother finally asked her to tell her what was wrong or in her words "spit it out, what is the matter".  The look that came over my mother's face is something I will not soon forget, the color drained away and disbelief clouded her features.

By this time we had moved to a table away from everyone and awaited what was happening.  Of course my first instinct was the something had happened to my uncle or their daughter.  I was flashed back to a previous phone call where there was a car accident involving another family member and all I could hear was the screaming and crying.  I was able to make sense of what happened and sent my parents to the scene to aid them.  It still gets under my skin even now. What we were actually told took my breath away as there was no way that it was true.

Joey my cousin, 32 year old healthy, life loving, husband and father of 2 beautiful young boys had been injured in a workplace accident.  I was gut punched and was so shocked I started shaking like I was in the freezing cold.  I do not recall a time when I had such a visceral reaction to something.  I lost my breath and my ability to feel.  We were asked to come back home because we needed to be together and immediately agreed.  It felt like time stood still as we drove back to the city and to the realization this was in fact happening.

We arrived in record time like some higher power knew we needed to get home in a hurry and all the traffic disappeared.  Pulling up to my Aunt and Uncle's condo building and seeing the tears in everyone's eyes made it all come into focus.  He was really gone and there was nothing we could do about it.  We all hugged each other and sobbed for the loss of someone we loved more than we loved ourselves. Being together was the only response that we could come up with. Rallying together was the only option.  We had family fly in from all over Canada to support each other in our time of darkness.

The days that followed will forever be ingrained in my memory.  Watching people who were once strong become weak with grief was one the hardest experiences I have ever been apart of.  I am sure some people would find what I am about to say morbid, but there is comfort in knowing you are not dealing with the loss or the pain alone.  There are a room full of people who know the kind of heart stopping, soul shattering pain you are experiencing.  That the ability to breath or to feel become almost impossible. There are no  words adequate enough to describe what this experience has been like for all that know Joey and love him beyond measure.

It has been 12 months, 365 days and counting since the accident that never should have happened took a life and a light that will never be matched.  It still feels like yesterday that we got the devastating news that Joseph Stanley Clarke Fancey was called into the heavens above to become what he had always been to so many here on earth, an angel.  I wonder if he misses us as much as we miss him.  I have dealt with this loss as best I could, but there are days I still don't believe this is our life now.  I can't imagine a family function where Joey isn't there with a smile and a hug for everyone.  I try and comfort myself with the notion that he gave up his life for someone else.  That in some way he knew that by letting go another family wouldn't have to go through what we are all still dealing with, but I shouldn't be surprised because he was one of the most selfless people I have ever known.

 Friday October 28, 2016 - Rest Peacefully Joey.  I love you too the moon and back!

August Elle Box + GIVEAWAY!!!!!!

I am currently hosting my very first YouTube giveaway for my wonderful viewers.

I am giving away a JULY ELLE BOX.  This box is packed full of goodies to make you feel good when mother nature makes you feel awful.

All you have to do to be entered into the giveaway is LIKE, COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE to my channel.  CLICK the link below to watch the video.



 August Elle Box + GIVEAWAY!!!!

Let's Get Personal - Self Love

 Self Love - The ability to accept yourself as you are and being comfortable in your own skin. Something that I have struggled with for most of my life.

I can remember being a young child and marching to the beat of my own drum.  I would want to do things my way.  Wear what I wanted to wear.  I didn't worry about what others would think because I didn't have any cares.  I was free to be who I wanted when I wanted.  I know it frustrated my parents, but with a little encouragement they allowed me to be my true self.


As I grew up however my feelings toward this changed.  I thought that I needed to be more like my friends or the "cool" kids in my middle school.  I wanted to fit in and for them to accept me into their social circle.  I needed for them to recognize I was like them and for them to be happy about that. I soon came to realization that was a lot harder than I  anticipated.  Being on the outside gave me the ability to see that they were never as "cool" as I had first thought.  They made bad life choices even at a young age and their parents were not as involved as mine.


It made me wonder if my parents were being nosy or if they were trying to intrude on my life.  Always wanting to know what was happening, who my friends were and what we were involved in.  I rebelled and started making those same bad life choices, but in my case there were consequences and my parents became even more involved in my daily life.  I started pushing their buttons.  Making things a lot more difficult than they needed to be.  I didn't know who I was yet as a person and I wanted to be able to identify with a group of people.  This began my journey of wanting what the "cool" kids had - brand name clothing and shoes.  Having the latest fashion accessories.  Going to the mall all the time to make sure I knew what was hip and happening.


High school did not turn out the way I wanted it too.  The experience was far from the movie version where I would be the most popular, athletic, well dressed girl in the school.  I am a plus size young woman, I have a very small circle of friends and I can't play sports to save my life. Not fitting in was extremely overwhelming.  Not having a social circle to lean on threw me into a deep and very dark depression.  I was sucked under and was drowning in front of everyone, while they were to busy being self absorbed - or so I thought in my twisted thoughts.  At that point it never occurred to me they were going through the exact same transformation and self discovery. They just seem to put up a better facade than I did.  I felt alone in a room full of people with no way to explain myself to anyone.

I finally surrounded myself with positive like minded people and was able to see that I could find where I belonged and be my true self all at the same time.  It was not an easy task, but it was worth the long journey.  I wrote in a journal almost everyday, spilling my feelings, thoughts and future plans on to the paper.  I wrote no matter how dark or sad my mind set was. I knew that I had to find an outlet that would not judge or look down on me.  I wanted to find my slice of happiness.


I still have my moments of weakness, times when I don't like what I see in the mirror.  I tend to over analyze events in my life and that can cause me to question whether if I did something differently would I have been able to get what I wanted. I want to make everyone happy or to fix problems within my group of friends.  I am a nurturer by nature. I have learned over the years that these experiences and situations have shaped my into who I am today.  I know now what I want out of life and how I can obtain it.  Building strong relationships with people whom I hold very close to my heart have allowed me to gain the perspective I need to know I am enough.


Happiness is a choice.  It is always the better choice, even when it doesn't feel worth it.  Making sure to surround yourself with those who have your best interest at heart and will be honest with you in the tough times.  Be honest with yourself as well - you are alone with yourself at the end of the day. Loving yourself will in turn make it easier for someone else to love you.

Let me know your experiences with Self Love and if you have obtained it or the journey you are still on.

And as always Thank You for Reading!

Lise Watier - Hydra Force

I was given the opportunity through Top Box - Glam Sense to review for FREE the Lise Watier Hydro Force cream and the New app Hydra-Detect with the sensor.

The Hydra Force cream is weather tested to stand up to the toughest conditions during the Canadian Winter.  We all know the highs and lows that season can bring in a short period of time. I was hoping that while I get extra dry during the winter this would give my skin the much needed boost I was looking for.

I was asked to test my skin before putting the cream on, on different parts of my face and arms.  The Hydra-Detect and the sensor which hooked up to my phone with the app would measure the amount of moisture in my skin.  You are then asked to apply the Hydra-Force Cream and measure the moisture level again.  I did find that on my hands the skin became soft and supple.  With my face I found that there was a difference but there was a tingle that I was not happy with.

I do have sensitive skin on my face and if there was something in it that was a component of alcohol than it would effect me by making the skin tight and have a slight tingle. The Hydra-Force Cream and the Hydra-Detect App would be something I would use as a weekly treatment so that I know I am getting the moisture boost I need, but I am not causing irritation to my skin.

Ms. Fancey ‏@MsNicoleFancey  Apr 2

Learn more about #LiseWatier #Hydroforce by going to a #hydrasquad event across Canada. Go to http://HYDRAFORCE.LISEWATIER.COM/EN/  #GETINTHEBUBBLE

Overall I think that there is something special about this cream because it is formulated for the harsh conditions weather can bring.   I will continue to use this as a weekly treatment to give my skin a boost of moisture and continue to test the moisture that the cream gives my over stressed and dry skin.

Let's Get Personal - My Battle with Anxiety

I am going to try something different today.  Get a little more personal.

I wish I knew how to start this off, but I don't.  I guess I am worried that if I say it out loud or if I put the words to paper it will be true and that makes me panic.  I know that I shouldn't be this upset over something that some people would find trivial, but for those who know what I am talking about it's a big deal.

I have anxiety.  I have always been a natural worrier.  Someone who is always trying to make sure everyone is happy or the first person to fix a situation if I can.  The unknown variable is what makes my anxiety really bad.  When I am not in control of something and I have no way of knowing what the outcome will be.  I know that life is full of surprises, but when something comes out of nowhere and I can't do anything to stop it or start it I get panicked.

Being thrown into something where I don't know what I am suppose to do or I don't know someone who can help guide me sends me into a tailspin.  I will over think things to the point of making myself sick and I do try and calm my mind and focus on something else, but it's always in the back of my mind ready to make itself known to me.  I over analyze what I think will happen or the bad things that could come out of the situation before I know more.

It's really hard to explain how fast my anxiety can come upon me or can flare up.  It's like being thrown into a pool and not knowing how to swim or being put in a room with someone or something you are afraid of and you have no way out.  Wanting to fight, but have a voice in your head that tells you it's no use, you might as well give in to the fear or the rising panic.

I wasn't able to fully understand what was going on with me for many years.  I just thought I was a "worry wart" - someone who may worry about things without a solid reason.  It wasn't until in high school that I was having episodes where I would get really dizzy and almost pass out while doing normal everyday things that I knew I had to see a doctor and finally found out that I was suffering from anxiety attacks.  I was told they were common in teenagers due to our high level of angst and that it would probably go away.  Well I was a teenager a long time ago and though the severe episodes have stopped they still creep up on me when I am not looking.

The bright side was that I knew what I was fighting against and that I could find solutions to help combat the anxiousness and the attacks that I suffer from.  The biggest weapon you can have in my mind is being positive.  Making sure you have positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with people who have positive attitudes.  I have found that really helps because laughter and kindness are contagious.  They rub off on people and can turn a frown upside down.  Being able to see the silver lining in a situation is imperative.

I also found  writing down my thoughts and feelings helped make sense of them.  I was able to explain in my own words why I was thinking or feeling a certain way and try to find a reasonable solution.  Talking to someone I trusted has also been a big factor because I am able to get another perspective and get advice about the situation from someone who is not in the middle of the fray and who has a clearer picture of the whole thing.  

I know that I will continue to deal with and manage my anxiety, but I will take what I have learned over the years and put them all to good use.  I am hoping by being a little more honest and open that I can help at least person understand that this monster so to speak does not have to control your life.  That you can slay your dragons and fight back with the tools I have mentioned.

I am always looking for ways to improve my methods of dealing with my anxiety so I ask that if you have any tips or suggestions to let me know.  Or if you need to talk that I am always here to lend an ear or a helping hand.  If we come together and support one another we can beat this and find our road to happiness.

Dove Nourish 3 Step System - Glam Sense Program.

I recently received the Glam Sense Dove Nourish 3 step  system to try and review.  I did receive these items for free in exchange for my honest opinion.

Now to the heart of the matter.  What did I think of this new 3 step system. It included Shampoo, Conditioner and a nourishing cream.  This system is meant for dry curly/ wavy hair.


I have provided a before shot of my hair.  Please note that it had not been washed in a few days.

The shampoo lathered well and I noticed that even though I have long hair I didn't have to use a lot of product to cover my entire head.  I did leave the product on for a few minutes to get the maximum benefits from the nourishing oils. My hair did feel clean after I rinsed out the shampoo. The shampoo was light weight and didn't leave a film afterward.  I did however notice the scent of the product was on the strong side when smelled from the tube, but the smell dissipated once the product was rinsed from my hair.


The conditioner left my hair feeling soft and clean.  There was no heavy feel, but it did take longer than usual to get the product out of my hair.  This may have been because I used too much or the length of my hair.  Again less is more as you do not need a lot of product to cover the entire head. After rinsing my hair felt healthy and light.  The scent of the Conditioner was considerably less than the shampoo and was very pleasant.


The nourishing cream is light weight, it's meant to give your dry hair a little bit more of a moisture boost.  You only need one pump of the product and it is recommended that you run it through the ends of your hair and stay away from the roots.  This would be very prudent with my hair as my ends are dry, but my scalp is oily and being that this cream is oil based it may make it worse.


I have provided an after photo of my hair.  This is after all 3 steps in the system are complete and my hair was air dried.

Overall I do like this three step program.  It claims that it can give you 3 days of manageability, that it won't weigh the hair down while providing a burst of nourishment to your hair. I believe that after seeing the before and after pictures that it has lived up to the claims that it will nourish your hair without the weight other products might leave behind.  I enjoyed both the shampoo and conditioner.  The nourishing cream did leave my hair feeling slightly crunchy afterward, but upon going about my day and sleeping on my hair that feeling has gone.

I would recommend those who have an oily crown like myself try and stay away from the roots of the hair or not use the system every time you wash your hair.  I believe this system would benefit someone who uses heat on their hair on a regular basis as it would help bring back the life into the hair while achieving your styling desires.

Secret Clear Gel - BzzAgent

I was given the chance to test out a product that claimed to keep you fresh and dry with no white marks for up to 48 hours. I was intrigued because I know a lot of the competition has promised the same thing and have fallen short.

I have not always been a fan of clear gel as is tends to stay wet on the skin for longer than I like.  But with the new formula of the Secret Clear Gel from Secret that isn't a problem anymore. It dries on the skin in seconds and allows for someone who has a tight routine or someone who likes to get dressed quickly the chance to do just that.

With a few clicks of the dial and a few swipes you are ready to take on the challenges of the day.  Whether that is a busy day at work, school or physical activity you won't have to work about not smelling the best you can all day long.

The sample size format that I was sent is perfect for throwing into a suite case or gym bag.  Even having it in your purse for those unexpected moments.  Life can be demanding and with Secret Clear Gel you will be prepared.

The scent of the product was delightful.  The coco butter is very light and leaves the skin under your arms feeling soft and well taken care of. As I am not a fan of scented products this impressed me.  It does not linger, but you know that the product is working.

The claim that it does not leave white marks has been proven thus far.  I have been able to wear any color shirt without worrying that I will end up with white streaks down the side.  That has been something that has frustrated me for a long time.  Having to carefully and skillfully put my shirt on is a thing of the past.  Once the Clear Gel has dried there is no wondering what will happen next.

My overall opinion of this product is that it lives up to the promises that were made.  You will stay fresh and without white marks for up to 48 hours while tackling all that life has to throw at you.  I recommend you take the chance to find out for your self how awesome this stuff is.

If you have already tried this Secret Clear Gel let me know what you thought.

And as Always
Thank you for reading!